Catch-up, and belated Soup Thursday

Y’all! Damn. Modern medicine is INSANE. No lactation yet, but I have turned into a goddamn zombie.

Actually, let me put Soup Thursday in another post. This shit is kind of gross. I’ll put it under the cut, too.

So, scripts catch-up: *Before* the possible-lactation med was prescribed (and, no, no lactation yet; but fingers crossed, right? right? um, no), I got put on lamictal to help with some slight depression issues the celexa wasn’t taking care of by itself. Well, apparently the lamictal carries with it a risk of Stevens-Johnson syndrome. TRUST ME: Don’t go Google that, nor look it up on wikipedia. It’s awful. And it can develop into toxic epidermal necrolysis (if I’m understanding my doc correctly), which is potentially lethal. Scary and gross. So, since getting put on lamictal, I’ve had to keep an eye out for itching, rashes, and skin peeling. Well, in winter I’m always itchy and peely – but we’re talking about crazy itching that doesn’t respond to, like, benadryl or lotion, and skin peeling off in like, little sheets, not just a flake here or there. (“Sheets” like a peel-off mask peels off. Not like, thick chunks of skin falling off, as far as I know.)

And guess what happened last week!! CRAZY itching, and rashes just popping up all over. Fun stuff! And the first spot to pop up, it didn’t look like much in the beginning, so I wasn’t too worried until other spots started cropping up. But the first spot, since it was the oldest, also started getting super gross in the middle, kind of squishy and yellow and wet-looking. I know, DISGUSTO. Greg calls it my zombie flesh. So I hauled ass to the doctor’s, and she stopped the lamictal immediately. And I’ve been getting better, which is how it works when you catch it in the very earliest stages. (It’s usually – but not always – a reaction to a medication, and in early stages, if you stop the medication, you see improvement almost immediately. And it’s reversible, so…great news for me.)

Since the lamictal *was* actually helping in conjunction with the celexa and the seroquel (that’s the lactation one!), when she stopped the lamictal, my doc decided to try increasing the seroquel, and thought that might actually be a better combo (with the celexa) than the celexa+lamictal+seroquel was. The good news? I am sleeping through the nights like a goddamn CHAMP. The bad news? I’m having a hard time not sleeping through the day, too. I am ZONKED. And I’m not even up to the real new dose yet. Went from 25mg to 50mg, and I’m supposed to go up to 100mg this week, but I’m scared to, I’ve been such a goddamn zombie on 50mg. (Although the good doctor says in higher doses, the seroquel actually makes you *less* sleepy, but I don’t know if I’m willing to believe it and try, and risk having to miss more time at work.)

I’ve been trying to figure out how early in the evening to take the seroquel so I can actually wake up feeling *awake* the next morning, and haven’t found the magical time yet. Last night, I took it around…6:45? Was in bed at 7 – and would have been asleep, too, if I hadn’t remembered I needed to give Chalupa a pill. Anyway. Slept a ridiculous amount – eleven hours? And was a zombie all day, too. BOOOOO. I feel like I’m at the doctor’s every week, and I’m getting tired of going back, but this…I don’t think seroquel’s going to work out. I think I’m going to have to go back in and try something else. (My wallet’s also getting tired of this shit. I have several unused refills because shit didn’t work out, but I only figured that out *after* getting a refill. I wonder if I could convince CVS to take them back. No, I couldn’t. But it’d be nice, wouldn’t it. I wonder if there’s any way I could donate this totally unused shit to someone needy with the same script? Probably not. Balls.)

So, anyway, that’s partly where I’ve been. I get home from work, and just crash. No energy. Seriously, it’s so sad: I’m too mentally frazzled to put together makeup looks, so I’m like, “That’s cool – keep copying from your to-copy tumblr!” But then I look at all the lovely looks, and I’m too mentally frazzled to even get my shit together to COPY a look someone else has worked out. LAME.

The other part of where I’ve been lately? Um, yeah. So, it’s like this: Thanksgiving, Greg’s birthday, my birthday, Hogswatch, New Year’s. Pretty fucking busy to begin with (plus some friends’ birthdays in there, too), and then the past couple years it’s been extra hard for me, because I get all emo about my birth-family situation, even though they’re shits, basically. And it’s a busy time of year for everyone, so I try to get up with people, and can’t, and then by the time my birthday rolls around, I’m like, “….I don’t want to do shit with people, because if no one can make it, how sad would that be?”

But Greg is wonderful, and I actually have a REALLY FANTASTIC support system/family of friends, and more people care about me and like me than I let myself believe. So I’ve been kind of emo and depressed-ish lately, but then my 31st birthday Sunday? FUCKING AWESOME. Greg took me out for Indian food Saturday (after taking me out for brunch that day, too), and a bunch of friends showed up, which warmed my heart so much I almost cried. And then they gave me presents, too! I was so spoiled! And then we went back home for several rounds of Fluxx and dessert (cheesecake and cookies & creme cupcakes, what!) and it was the BEST. BIRTHDAY. EVER. And Sunday, we went to the staff party at the Pinhook, which was INCREDIBLE, too. So much delicious food. And then about a bajillion kind souls wished me well on facebook, in person, by email, cards in the mail, and it just…

Y’all. I’m getting misty just blogging about it. I am so lucky and fortunate and loved, and my family-of-friends (and in-laws) is huge and wonderful, and people are just great. Love y’all! And it was the positive-mood kick in the ass I sorely needed. Now if only I could stop feeling like a narcoleptic. 😀 I should be back to regular posting, though. Nice to be back.


15 thoughts on “Catch-up, and belated Soup Thursday

  1. Wow, that was a heck of a story! I’m so glad that you’re feeling better (sleepiness notwithstanding) and, of course, that your skin isn’t falling off in sheets. I was diagnosed with a basically harmless but annoying and chronic condition this year, so I totally feel your pain on living at the doctor’s office! Fingers crossed that you get your meds sorted out so you’re feeling fantastic both mentally AND physically!

    Also, happy belated birthday! All the cool kids turned 31 this year, that’s my theory.

  2. That’s a lot of shitty sounding science goober right there 😦 Sorry to hear about all the crap. At least you have lots of lovely cupcake bearing people around!

  3. Why oh why can’t I ever heed warnings? Dumb me. Anyhoo – welcome back, it’s nice to see your posts when you can. And a happy belated birthday!!

    • I’m the same way. Someone’s like, “Hey, don’t click this link – dude’s leg is TOTALLY maggot infested,” and I’m like, “[click]….Dammit, Jacobs.” All. The. Time.

  4. so sorry to hear about all the bad stuff…have you tried effexor xr by any chance? if you mentioned it in a previous post, forgive me…i haven’t been able to make it through your whole history yet 😉 anyhoo – that was the last one that i was on that really seemed to help out (i’m doing somewhat better now, so i’m trying the whole vitamin/mineral thing and only the REAL drugs for the anxiety and insomnia!).

    I’m SO glad that you have such an awesome husband in your life…they make all the difference, don’t they?! Happy belated b-day…glad you had a good one 🙂

    Much love and hope you are back to 100% soon!!

    • I don’t think I’ve mentioned it, but effexor was one of the very first things I tried, way back in college, and it just didn’t work. Thanks for the rec, though. The celexa’s good, and I think either the seroquel will be great (once I get used to it’s quirks), or I’ll try nortriptyline again, since that worked alright. I’m also trying to focus on eating better, exercising more regularly, being sociable, and getting plenty of sleep, since those seem to help a bunch, and might even reduce the amount of meds I need for support. We’ll see.

      Great support systems (and especially wonderful spouses) DO make an incredible difference. I’m so fortunate to have one. 😀

  5. O_O Terrible medicine story, and I’m so sorry you had to go through that, but I’m glad things seem to be going better. And HURRAY for such awesome, supporting friends!

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