God. DAMN.

I don’t know if I’ve really admitted it on here, in a way that made the full extent of this interest clear, but I am kind of really, really into celebrity gossip. Yeah. It’s one of my guilty pleasures. I know it’s pretty ridiculous; there’s wars going on and, you know, *actual important shit*, and celeb gossip is just inane, but there it is.

My favorite gossip blog by far is Dlisted, and today I finally succumbed and watched Willow Smith’s “Whip My Hair” video. You can watch it here, but if you value your longevity, I seriously suggest that you don’t. Four minutes and eight seconds later, and a decade’s been taken off my life. I don’t even know where to *begin*, there’s so much wrong about this, on different levels. Nine-year-olds singing about – and quite possibly actually, in real life – dancing in clubs? Nine-year-olds driving? Underage girls gyrating like Tawny Kitaen and dry-humping the floor? The super-obnoxious repetition of that screeched “I whip my hair back and forth”? The fact that the singer is nine, and therefore her voice will almost certainly change as she ages? I mean, it’s not a bad voice, but it’s a kid’s voice, so I don’t know that this song (or any others on her first album) will be in her repertoire very long. The fact that I don’t even know how this could possibly be performed live, although maybe there’s no plan to ever have her perform live, but then what’s the point of being a musician, but that’s just my opinion? And this is just the tip of the wrongness iceberg. I’m not all dislike, though: I do like the underlying sentiment, which seems to be “Fuck the haters, ladies, don’t let them get you down”; and I certainly have to give Willow Smith mad props for carving out a music career at the tender age of nine, and getting signed and having a video (although that might have something to do with her family connections, but whatevs). I wouldn’t let *my* kid do this, but then I’m never having kids, so I kind of feel like, “Get it, girl.” If she can convince people to get into this, then why the fuck not, and kudos to her.

But I really should have known better than to watch it. It’s my own fault my life’s been shortened, but just…damn.

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5 thoughts on “

  1. Pahahahahahahah my flatmate keeps playing this song, shes like oh its fantastic! Right now im at the stage of throwing her laptop speakers out the fucking window .x

      • I mean, I’ve certainly heard much worse songs, but I don’t know that I’d say it’s fantastic – although, to be honest, if that screechy line wasn’t repeated so damn much, I would probably think it was alright. But yeah, that line, if nothing else, just kills it for me.

        And thanks for getting it stuck in my head again. 😛

  2. It disturbs me as much as when Miley Cyrus’ little sister did the video of her lip synching and dancing to Tik Tok 😐

    The chorus is awful but I feel like the verses aren’t horrendous. BUT OMG THE CHORUS MAKES MY EARS BLEED.

    • Oh, Noah Cyrus is the worst. She’s ten, IIRC, and wears some seriously scandalous shit. I was just talking with a friend about who were the worst parents between the Cyrus and the Smith family. I think the Cyruses take the cake on that one. (Obviously we weren’t considering the Lohans because….no contest there.)

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