I *swear* it’s not all-makeup, all-the-time around here.

It’s just that I’ve got about 300 trip-related photos to edit (no lie) and post, plus some non-makeup, non-trip photos, and then like an ass I uploaded most of them to Bertha, but a couple to Scrappy, so they’re kind of all over the place. I’m whittling away at the trip photos, and in the meantime slapping up what I can.

Speaking of which, I never told you about the surprising denouement of the neighbor/land drama. So I’ll do that now, in case you’re sick of makeup shit. She called Greg, and left two voicemail messages each about three minutes long, talking vaguely about wanting to lease that land (even though we’d already said that wasn’t an option) and mentioning it was for a nonprofit she was starting, but didn’t give any specifics about the nonprofit. Not that details would have necessarily swayed us in her favor (or so we thought at the time). The following Friday, on the way home from work, she called Greg, and he actually answered and talked to her, and it was a long conversation. And I only heard his part of it, which wasn’t too enlightening. After it was done, he filled me in. I’m not sure exactly what’s the best sequence to present these revelations, but I think it’s this:

1. She’s actually starting TWO nonprofits, which she plans on running from her home.

2. The first nonprofit is for equine therapy. As in, therapy for horses. Either she wasn’t very specific, or Greg didn’t really pay attention, but I’m wondering if maybe she’s a Ttouch practitioner, which would actually be pretty neat. As vegetarians, ex-vegans (and, at least in my case, a future once-more-vegan), and people who support animal rights (and used to be more hardcore into it, protesting, etc), we can actually get behind this nonprofit idea of hers. It’s totally cool with us, and a nonprofit we’d be inclined to support.

3. This is the weirder part – but I think the last bit trumps even this, so I’m listing it third. The second nonprofit is to do with what she called “green death.” After googling, I think it might be more commonly called “green burial.” As she was explaining the concept of green burial to Greg, it seems that her deceased husband might actually be buried in her yard. Yeah, get there. Not surprisingly, we also think that is pretty cool – but mainly because it means we live next to a burial ground. 😀 I don’t know how we failed to notice it when her husband was buried in her yard – like, surely there’d be a backhoe, right? – but we did. But now we know. (Also, we’ve got OJ buried in the back, but he’s not a *human*, so it’s a little different.) (It’s possible the green burial was elsewhere, but the impression Greg got was that he’s buried in her yard, and I prefer that version, so, in my mind, that’s what it is. But I don’t know for sure, so if any trolls are reading this, don’t be thinking you can call the city up and get a bitch in trouble. I could be totally wrong, but I prefer to think that I’m not. :P)

4. I think this is the topper of all the toppers. It’s to do with the equine therapy nonprofit. Now, she told Greg she had some property in the country, and he assumed the equine therapy would be taking place there. But she’s also covered the majority of her yard in hay, so we’re not so sure. (But it’s not like she’d be *owning* horses in her yard, just having them…stand there while they get therapy?) But it turns out, she really just wanted to be able to let people park on the grass if her driveway gets full.

That’s right: park on the grass. When we realized that’s what she wanted, we were like, “…um? We don’t give a SHIT about that! Go right ahead.” I mean, we have bitches park on the side of the driveway all the time, and there are still some mad ruts from the time I dug the hybrid into the dirt good and proper (not on purpose). Hell yes you can park on the grass. We’re not using it for anything. But instead of asking us about it first, in case we might be cool with it (which we totally are), she offered to buy the land, then lease it, then asked about buying the entire house, then back to leasing. Pretty awesome. So, the lesson is, always start with the simplest, lowest-effort fix. The worst we could have done is said no. But actually, we would’ve said yes, and none of this drama would have occurred, and she’d be further along with her nonprofits. (And even if you fuck the ground up parking on it, you can just drop some gravel over that bad boy. Or pave it *then*. Or whatever. But try the easiest solution first.)

Anyway, I’m glad it’s worked out to everyone’s satisfaction. I still think her logic is a little weird, but I have zero problem with people parking on that ground (or horses standing/walking on it), and I kind of like living next to a mini-cemetary, and I fully support equine therapy. So, all good. But much ado about nothing, at the same time.

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